Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Please DO NOT disturb a beast while it is feeding. It’s a jungle out there folks and you either eat or be eaten. See, myself, I’m a eater. You can call me a man eater the way I’ve devoured my competition so far. I’ll give it up for the HOUSE though, he’s went from a elephant to a anorexic hippopotamus in under a month. In regards to Transformers, I am still waiting for the transformation. We may need some WD-40 to get those gears turning.
Let us examine the change. On January 3rd, I was 192 pounds at 14.6% body fat. Fast forward to today and I am a solid 179 and around 13%. I may be lower since the last time I checked but that will be a surprise that I will not open until March 31st. Looking in the mirror and I see the abs that I ordered from Amazon have arrived and FedEx just delivered some shiny new calf muscles.
I know that I’ll get an ear full from my favorite reader Eryn but come on. I AM A BEAST, HEAR ME ROARRRRRR. I've seen so many changes so far it’s ridiculous.
Gain 20 pounds while bulking – check!
Gain 15 pounds of muscle – check!
Lose 10 pounds of fat while cutting– check!
Abs are abrageous (yes, new word) – check!
The list goes on. My work attire tomorrow may just be some Speedos, Timberlands, top hat and a monocle. Yep, a monocle. Look it up.
They say that you are what you eat. Unfortunately, I beg to differ. If that was the case, after eating my competition, I would have a cholesterol level higher than Steve Urkel’s waist line. As Randy Newman stated, “It’s a jungle out there... Its jungle out there!”
3 comments:
Thx for the shout out, Flex! I'll let you make it today just for the shout out! But wait, I see some back muscles!!! You could have kept the Speedos to yourself though, homie! Great post!
WOW....all I can say is WOW. Such attention to detail in the picture. An anorexic hippopotamus huh? So lame! HAHAHAHAHA! Good post! WD-40?!?! I am crying!!!
This by far is the funniest pic I've ever seen! Look...is that a bird....a plane? No, it "George of the Jungle!"
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