It's a Jungle Out There

click the picture to see the full sized beast

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Please DO NOT disturb a beast while it is feeding. It’s a jungle out there folks and you either eat or be eaten. See, myself, I’m a eater. You can call me a man eater the way I’ve devoured my competition so far. I’ll give it up for the HOUSE though, he’s went from a elephant to a anorexic hippopotamus in under a month. In regards to Transformers, I am still waiting for the transformation. We may need some WD-40 to get those gears turning.

Let us examine the change. On January 3^rd, I was 192 pounds at 14.6% body fat. Fast forward to today and I am a solid 179 and around 13%. I may be lower since the last time I checked but that will be a surprise that I will not open until March 31^st. Looking in the mirror and I see the abs that I ordered from Amazon have arrived and FedEx just delivered some shiny new calf muscles.

I know that I’ll get an ear full from my favorite reader Eryn but come on. I AM A BEAST, HEAR ME ROARRRRRR. I've seen so many changes so far it’s ridiculous.

Gain 20 pounds while bulking – check!
Gain 15 pounds of muscle – check!
Lose 10 pounds of fat while cutting– check!
Abs are abrageous (yes, new word) – check!

The list goes on. My work attire tomorrow may just be some Speedos, Timberlands, top hat and a monocle. Yep, a monocle. Look it up.

They say that you are what you eat. Unfortunately, I beg to differ. If that was the case, after eating my competition, I would have a cholesterol level higher than Steve Urkel’s waist line. As Randy Newman stated, “It’s a jungle out there... Its jungle out there!”

FINISH THE FIGHT!!!

We all remember the game Halo right? Of course we do. The GSC spent many of nights playing against each other. Making clans, beating noobs on the internet and coming across some cold ass people at the same time. The funniest shit was watching Flex make all those crazy ass faces like he was a damn ostrich poking at the screen. Everbody used to sleep on my Halo skills but there were a few occasions where they would be like, WTF?, I can't believe MON(Transformer) won! It's cool, I know it was unexpected but hey, shit happens. It's not all about how you start, but more so, how you finish.

I started out as the weak-link in the bunch. A meager 150+ pounds. My new name in the gym(Team 24) is "Smalls." Its cool though. I know where I've been, and I know where I'm going... Just take a look.

People have seen the progress of the GSC and now wanna be apart. This fitness challenge has sparked the interest of a lot of people at the gym. They wanna know, "How are ya'll doing it?" I tell them, "a LOT of shit talking!"So......Now that all the laughs are outta the way, lets get to business.

First, I have to admit, I thought I was doing something by trying to gain and lose at the same time. House warned me but I didn't listen. I got to my goal of 180, but in the process I gained body fat. That's a no-no......much like House's fashion sense. The midway progress picks were not in my favor AT ALL! I'll admit, I got a down on myself that first day. I knew all the jokes would be coming and I thought about giving up. I read the new blog by House and I'll give it to him, he STUNG the hell out of me. But it was much deserved. I even got a chuckle out of it. But as he stated, I'm the little engine and I'm just gonna keep trucking along. This challenge aint over just yet. I'm just gonna get on it and keep it moving. I had to change a few things in my diet, change supplements, but more so in my workout intensity. I just gotta keep pushing....CHOO-CHOO!

There's a new "Master Chief" in town.... and this game is getting pretty serious. Remember fellas:

THE LITTLE ENGINE THAT COULDN’T

THE LITTLE ENGINE THAT COULDN’T

(House)

A little steam engine had a lot of body fat to lose and muscle to gain.

He went along very well till he came to a steep hill. But then, no matter how hard He tried, he could not get that body fat to drop!

He pulled and he pulled. He puffed and he puffed. He backed and started off again. Choo! Choo!
But no! The body fat would not fall off!

At last he left the gym and started up the track alone. Do you think he had stopped working out? No, indeed! He was going on it alone!

"Surely I can do this by myself," he thought.

Over the hill and up the track went the little steam engine. Choo, choo! Choo, choo! Choo, choo! Choo!

Pretty soon he saw a big steam engine named House passing on a side track. He looked very big and strong. Running alongside, he looked up and said:

"Will you help me lose this body fat and gain some muscle? I can’t seem to shake free!"

The big steam engine looked down at the little steam engine. Then he said:

"Don't you see that you are going about it all wrong? You can’t do both at once, you’re too small!"

The little steam engine was sorry, but he went on away, Choo, choo! Choo, choo! Choo, choo! Choo, choo!

Soon he came to a second big steam engine named Flex standing on a side track. He was puffing and puffing, as if he were tired.

"That big steam engine may help me," thought the little steam engine. He ran alongside and asked:

"Will you help lower my body fat and gain muscle?"

The second big steam engine answered:
"Sorry little fella, I am on my own journey to lose body fat, and we seem to be on separate paths and you may slow me down”

"Sigh” said the little steam engine, and off he went. Choo, choo! Choo, choo! Choo, choo!

After a while he came to a little steam engine just like himself. He ran alongside and said:

"Will you help me get this darn body fat down and gain some muscle?"

"Sure!" said this little steam engine. "I'll be glad to help you, if I can."

So the little steam engines started on the path they THOUGHT to be the correct one to gain muscle and lose body fat.

On their way they passed up the House engine going the other way. House just looked, sighed, and kept on chugging.

Then they passed the Flex engine. He too just looked, sighed and kept on chugging.

In the distance you could hear that lil engine chanting…"I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can!”

Soon House and Flex were side by side. House looked over and said “You think we should tell him they are headed in the wrong direction! He is putting on body fat and not going down! Mine is down and so is yours, but that guy, sad, sad day.”

Flex replied “He should know by now which way the tracks run.”

When the little engine reached the starting line he paused in disbelief!

“Oh NO! My Body Fat has risen! All this time I have been going the wrong way! Why didn’t I listen to House and Flex?!”

So he dropped his head, put on a sad face and started saying to himself….

"I-thought-I-could! I-thought-I-could! I-thought-I-could! I-thought-I-could! I thought i could - I thought I could….BUT I CAN’T!!! --"
THE END

The moral of the story kids, is that you can’t lose body fat and gain muscle in a competition at the same time! The body just doesn’t work that way…Sorry transformer. Must be the old school McDonald’s kind of transformer…simple and to the point…not much change needed. “Flip….I’m a robot….Flip…I’m a 6 piece nugget!”

Change We Can Believe In!

Flex in the City steps to the podium. 

Thank you. Thank you.

My fellow citizens: I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors.

I thank House for his service to our nation... as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

...Today I say to you that the challengers I face are real, they are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this America: They will be met.

...In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words; with correct dieting and cardio, let us brave once more the site of obesity, and endure what storms may come; let it be said by our children's children that when we were challenged in this competition, we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon, copious amounts of protein and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of swoleness and delivered it safely to future generations.

Thank you. God bless you.

Obama isnt the only one all about change.  A picture is worth 1000 words so my work is done. Until next time. Oh yeah fellas; 2 months left...